Un día a la vez

Maybe I’m not a very good blogger. I say “maybe” because I don’t want to write myself off just yet. The goal in the beginning was to do a post everyday. I’ve been here almost a month and I’ve already slacked on that front. I had a suspicion that this would happen. I knew I would be overwhelmed with the everyday of living in another country, learning another language and working. I want to share this experience though, my process and my adjustment. So it may not be an everyday thing, but I will do my best.

 Status update: after nearly a month here in El Salvador I have been feeling homesick the last week or so. Some days I feel so ready to go home. I miss the people I love and who are my support. Yet, they continue to be my support here as well.

 I have days where I feel defeated because I can’t communicate the way I would like to and I feel like a stranger in a world where everyone else knows the way around. The language barrier can sometimes make me feel lonely. I am the type of person who needs and thrives upon expressing myself. I love to talk. Here, I find myself smiling and nodding a lot or I am just concentrating so intently on translating that I am not even thinking of a response.

 But I have it isn’t all a struggle. I have visited some beautiful places and met extremely friendly people here as well. I eat delicious, new foods almost everyday. Also, maybe this silence on my behalf isn’t such a bad experience. I spend more time listening and not always thinking about how important it is what I have to say.

 It’s a bit of a roller coaster of emotions. In one moment I am feeling excited and proud of myself for making it here. Then I am lost and wondering how I am going to accomplish what I want to here. I think, “I want to do stories in a country where I am not fluent in the language.”

 Yes I do. And I will.

 Each day is a new day and presents the opportunity for me to make the best of this adventure I am on. I am signing up for a Spanish class at one of the local universities. I will continue to practice and ask questions even when I feel stupid. I am going to follow the passions that led me here in the first place. No, it is not going to turn out how I imagined. Nothing ever does. But it will be something. It will be an experience that frightens me, teaches me and pushes me to grow. I am grateful for that.  






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About almadeelsalvador

I am a multimedia journalist working in San Salvador, El Salvador.

One response to “Un día a la vez”

  1. Douglas Paul Sheehy says :

    Atta girl mija. The experience of the now in your life is ultimately what is truly important. Whether your listening or talking or watching or whatever is of very little consequence. Being truly present is. And that’s just my opinion. Hanna, please let us know when we can Skype. Buenas noche, su Papa quien te ama mucho. My feeble attempt at espanol.

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